A Day Away from the Grown Up Stuff!

I love the beach, I've always enjoyed walking along the edge of the sea. Trying to pick a line where I'm close to the incoming waves, but just far enough in so as not to get my feet wet.

Yesterday, Neil suggested a trip to the coast so we could walk the dogs along the beach and enjoy the promised sunshine. I 'googled' for dog-friendly beaches as many that allow dogs out of summer season do not let them on the beach during July & August and Skipsea beach came up. It looked good for dog walking, very long, sandy with lots of pebbles. It's on the east coast between Hornsea and Bridlington.

The dogs are great travellers in the car so a journey of an hour or two is never a problem. We loaded up the car with a coat for every occasion, incase it was cold, windy, rainy....... whatever the weather was going to do, we had a coat so our walk would not be spoiled.

The satnav took us through Beverley, a lovely little market town with a popular horse race course. It never occurred to me to check if there were races on, and there was. We knew as soon as we reached the outskirts that the volume of traffic could only mean one thing. As we slowly edged nearer we could see from the number of ladies in posh outfits and the men in dressy suits that it was a full race day. Going slowly through the town I noticed a sign that said to be aware as cattle could be on the road from an unfenced area. 

And they weren't kidding, as we started to leave the town we were met by 2 of the largest, black cows I've ever seen close-up. They were stood in the road blocking our way. From our seated position in the car, we were looking up to them. 

Finally one of them started to walk across the road and out of our way and the other followed and we could continue on our way. One very good reason i would not want to live in Beverley, I really could not deal with that on a regular basis. 

Eventually our satnav took us alongside a large caravan park and down to the coast at Skipsea. We parked just a few yards from the beach and decided we needed nothing more than our fleeces. The dogs were getting excited and we unloaded them and set off to the beach. It was reasonably busy with several dogs and children playing in the sea as well as running around on the beach.

The sea looked cold and I knew our 2 would not venture in and would only get wet if a wave took them by surprise. We had a lovely long walk along the edge of the sea, the pups saying 'hi' to every dog that went past.

Once we decided it was time to turn around and head back we could see the dark clouds gathering and realised we had timed our walk perfectly, we even had time for a coffee and a jam scone (these are allowed on my list of items in moderation) before heading home.

We decided to come home via Driffield to avoid the racecourse traffic and the cows in Beverley. The area around Skipsea is full of lovely, villages with pretty churches and proper village centres. Many of them showed signs of having had heavy rain but our drive home was dry and once home, Brandy & Brinkley slept for the rest of the afternoon, worn out from their long walk on the beach.

Worst Case Scenario

When I woke on Thursday morning I knew I'd had a restless night. There was several hours still to go before my appointment at 2.30pm and I was hoping that being at work would serve as a useful distraction. Normally the mornings go relatively quickly and lunchtimes are upon us before we realise.......but not today. The clock ticked painstakingly slow. 

Finally Neil arrived to pick me up and we set off to the hospital. Over the previous few days I'd had many people give me their thoughts on what I would be told. I had deliberately not been scouring the internet for information as I didn't know exactly what I was dealing with, but my hope was that at worst, it would be tablets for the rest of my life.

After the usual weighing and measuring in, which I think is just to waste some time we sat in the waiting room until it was my turn.

Finally we were called through. The results of my 48 hour monitor had confirmed the original diagnosis, I had 2nd degree av block which, the doctor explained meant my heart sometimes didn't beat when it should. The monitor showed this was only happening at night when I was asleep at the moment. I asked whether I had type 1 or type 2 and he confirmed I had type 2, the worst of the types. The condition would get progressively worst if it went untreated until eventually it would lead to a complete heart block. He confirmed the effect of the missing heartbeat can be dizziness or fainting and this could have been the cause of my recent accident. Having asked several more questions about how I was feeling he went off to speak with the Cardiologist on duty.

We had to wait several minutes before he returned with the plan of action, and that's when I received a massive shock.

They were going to give me a pacemaker!

I didn't feel ill enough to warrant such an outcome, there must be something else they could do first, but no, this was the only course of action that would correct my problem. I was at 'worst case scenario' stage.

After that, my mind shut off, I have little knowledge of what else was said between the doctor and Neil, I was stunned.

Now, I have to wait for the next stage, an echo-cardiogram so that they can check the structure of my heart before they carry out the procedure. I have to ring the hospital on Tuesday to get some timescales involved. 

In the meantime I am not allowed to have spicy food or alcohol, I have to avoid getting over-excited and I am not allowed to drive. I am told I can resume all of them after the pacemaker is fitted.

I've had a couple of days to come to terms with what is going to happen to me. I am trying to focus on the positives, that I am lucky they have identified the problem before it has got any worse, that after the procedure I can continue to live life as before and that I will always be closely monitored so the chances of something going unheeded is low. The rational side of me can see that I have been very fortunate to have been referred for the series of tests that has highlighted the problem now. 

The emotional side of me is struggling. It doesn't surface often but I am scared. Scared of what is going to happen over the next few weeks. I am lucky, I have a lot of support from family and friends, and Neil who knows that I am now worried about sleeping because the problem happens at night, tells me he checks on me several times throughout the night while I sleep, to make sure I am OK.  It is reassuring.

There is still a part of me that can't quite believe this is all happening. 

Wow!

A long 2 weeks.

The doctor had said I should hear from the hospital within 2 weeks and if I didn't I should ring her and she would chase them up for me.

That night I started up my laptop, determined only to look at reputable websites. I needed to know more about my condition. 

Basically there are 3 degrees, 1st, 2nd & 3rd. Of the 2nd degree there are 2 types, one more serious than the other. Once again I was left no choice but to play the waiting game. Until I knew whether I had type 1 or type 2, I still didn't know what I was dealing with.

I made the decision to let family and friends know what had been found and what the possible outcome could be. It was easier for me to share it with them. Again, I kept telling myself if it was serious they would call me sooner rather than later. A week passed without a call.

After 10 days I couldn't wait any longer, I needed to know when I would be seeing the Cardiologist, the stress of waiting was beginning to get too much. 

I rang the hospital.

I explained the situation and the lady on the other end asked me to wait. When she came back she said she had pulled my letter out of the pile, that they were having an extra clinic the following day and if I could make it, I could see the Cardiologist at 2.30pm. 

I told her I would be there.

Impatient for news.

For 24 hours I turned all kinds of thoughts over in my head until I was driving myself crazy. The one rational thought that I kept pushing to the forefront was that the hospital would have called me back sooner if there was anything seriously wrong, but I couldn't settle so I decided I would ring my doctor to see if she had heard anything. It was lunchtime when I called and she was out. They said they would get her to ring me when she was back. By 5pm I had settled myself to not hearing from her and made a mental note to call her the following day.

Then, not more than 2 minutes later my phone rang. I told her of my recall to the hospital and asked if she had heard anything. She had. She told me in a very matter of fact tone that I was being checked as they had found indications in my first test of 2nd degree av block, which she told me meant the electrics in my heart didn't work properly and so there was elongation between beats and this could result in my heart missing a beat on occasions. 

I wrote it all down as she said it, but I didn't take it in.

The CT scan doctor who had requested I have a heart check as well had done good. I had been referred to the Cardiologist and he had requested the 2nd, longer test. I asked what this could mean and she told me, worse case scenario is a pacemaker, but she didn't think we were anywhere near that.

I thanked her and cancelled the call. 

Stunned. 

I felt well, since losing weight through my new eating regime, I had felt fitter than for some time. They couldn't be right. I didn't have dizzy spells, no fainting, there was no history of heart problems in the family. My work colleagues could tell something was wrong and came over. 

I simply said, 'they've found something wrong with my heart! It can't be too serious or they would have me straight in but there is a problem'.

24 hours heart monitoring

The CT scan I had a few weeks ago has fortunately come back clear. It doesn't explain the accident but it's good to know I have a healthy head.

At the same time I was also referred for 24 heart monitoring. So, a few weeks ago I visited yet another department at our local hospital. I was wired up to a machine for several minutes while they ran some basic tests and asked some basic questions, do I get dizzy spells or feel faint, do I have palpitations etc. etc, to each I answered 'no'. Then they stuck 3 pads to my chest and sent me home for 24 hours attached to a portable monitor. The unit hung from a strap around my neck and I had a small booklet in which I was to make a note if I had any feelings in my heart that were note worthy. I couldn't think what I would be noting as I had never had any issues with my heart but the doctors wanted everything checking out so I was happy to oblige.

I was to do everything I normally do while wearing the unit, except have a shower. It was cumbersome with 3 thickish, long wires stuffed up my jumper and the unit felt quite heavy around my neck, but it was only for 24 hours. It was Friday lunchtime so, after picking a sandwich up from the hospital restaurant I returned to work. 

Now, a little on the hospital restaurant. It's at the head of the corridor to the cardiology department and has leaflets and posters outside about cholesterol reducing. So, you would think there would be a variety of low fat foods available - oh no. I eventually managed to find a sandwich that would do, but I was totally disappointed in the choice - how ironic.

Anyway, back at work the monitor didn't bother me too much and after a while I managed to forget it was hanging around my neck. We had deliberately not made plans to go out that night and so the next hurdle would be trying to sleep attached to the cables - and it wasn't easy for me. After a restless night I spent Saturday morning clock watching, hardly able to wait for the 24 hours to come to an end. Eventually the time came for me to peel off the pads holding the wires in place and I could bag the unit up for returning to the hospital for analysis on the Monday morning. 

On my way to work I drove by the hospital and took the unit back to the cardiology dept along with a blank record card. I didn't have any 'off feelings' from my heart, never had and hadn't expected to have any just by being hooked up to a monitor. The receptionist confirmed my blank card was intentional and after I said yes, I left to start the wait for yet another letter not to arrive. 

After 4 weeks of no call back to the hospital, I finally began to relax and feel that I would never be able to explain the accident but at least I'd been fully checked out, which was no bad thing.

Then it happened, week 5 - I got a letter telling me they wanted me back to have another monitor fitted - this time for 48 hours. Suddenly I got concerned again. Friends tried to re-assure me they were just double checking before discharging me - but I wasn't convinced. I went back to the hospital the following day and was once more fitted with sticky pads, wires and the unit around my neck. I explained that due to the osteoarthritis in my neck I found having the unit hanging there uncomfortable, so he said I could carry it in the pocket of my jeans as long as the cables were not pulled taut. And so 48 hours began.

It was 48 hours that would change my life significantly.

DS PIC PIC - time to let go.

Before the advent of home computers, I read a lot of books and I did a lot of crosswords and other puzzles to keep my mind occupied. As a child I loved reading through my encyclopedia, especially the wildlife (my love of the Hoopoe came from said encyclopedia - but that's for another day) as well as reading the usual novels. I loved Enid Blyton's Secret Seven, Famous Five & especially the Malory Tower's series. My favourite childhood book was Pamela Brown's 'Swish of the Curtain' 

so much so that I bought it a few years back when it was re-issued, just to have on my bookcase along with Hillaire Belloc's Cautionery Verses.


As years passed my love of books and puzzles never changed but the manner in which I did them did. The advent of computers saw me buying magazines which listed pages and pages of computer code to be typed into the BBC computer that we had, 

just so we could try a really basic game. When the game stopped working it usually meant we had entered something wrong and the job of trawling through the lines of machine code looking for the error was almost as challenging as the game itself.


Then progress meant we no longer had to type the code in, we could now download them via tones down the phone line, recorded on an old tape recorder, something that could be very hit & miss, depending on the quality of the line.


Progression then moved at pace until finally we get to the modern day game with such complicated plots and such fabulous graphics. Throughout the progression my love of puzzle type games never lessened and I was always on the lookout for a good 'brain teaser'.


But doing puzzles on the computer meant being at home. When I was out or away, it was back to the trusty puzzle book.


Until I discovered the Nintendo DS. Wow, that was my kind of games console. I invested in a white DS and suddenly I could keep it in my bag and take it with me. Over the years I collected a number of games, 

some played with more regularity than others. When the Brain Training games came out I couldn't stop playing them, always competitive with myself, trying to beat my previous score.


When they started advertising Professor Layton games I pre-ordered.

It arrived in time for Christmas 2008. My friend Lucy also used a DS and also had the game for Christmas. Neither of us surfaced for 2 weeks whilst we challenged each other as to who would complete the puzzles first - as it happened we finished it pretty much together. People around us had no idea of the total fascination we had with the game but Lucy & I were totally addicted.


A couple of years ago I finally found a game that would be completely addictive, the only problem was it was incredibly difficult to find. It had been released in 2008 and they had not manufactured on a large scale and only made the one run. A £20 game was now selling on Ebay as used for £30 plus, and that was when they were listed, which was infrequent. Many were manufactured in single languages, French or Italian, finding one in English was    
proving a challenge. Eventually, after about 3 months I found a copy listed on Ebay and it had a Buy Now price - I bought it.


Over the last few years it has been played for hours but as my arthritis has worsened in my hands and fingers, it is becoming increasingly painful to hold the stylus and the DS itself. Finally, about 6 months ago the DS went back into its case and has remained there ever since. Now, my game playing is solely on my laptop. Unfortunately there isn't a version of Pic Pic for the laptop, but there are similar games that keep me occupied. I rarely sit watching TV without having my laptop on my knee.


And so, I have finally decided the time is right to Ebay my DS games, most of which will go for a fraction of what I paid for them, except for Pic Pic. 

The end of an era, but I shall hang on to my DS for now, you never know ......