Pain is an odd thing, it's very personal to each individual and you cannot know how someone else's pain really feels due to different tolerances.
I live with a level of pain most of the time, some times it's very mild and local to small areas of my body other days it's intolerable and I just want to roll up in a ball and cry... not that I've ever found that helps relieve the pain.
This week has been a painful week, I've had to resort to painkillers on a regular basis, something I try not to do very often as long term use of any medication concerns me.
I have cervical spondylosis, a form of osteoarthritis in my neck. It was diagnosed several years ago following an MRI scan (not something I would wish to go through again and one plus to having my pacemaker fitted is that I can't have anymore MRI scans, I can only have CT scans which are so much easier to endure). Along with a number of other areas affected by arthritis (hands, feet, hips) my neck is my main problem as when it flares up it's very difficult to cope with the pain.
It doesn't take much to cause a flare up... sitting too long at a dining table on chairs which don't support my shoulders, standing too long taking photos (not that it stops me), sitting too long at my desk without taking breaks (not really conducive to writing a book, but I will bear my pain for my creativity) - nothing major, just simple everyday tasks that I have to manage right in order to reduce the impact on my neck.
Without being aware of what I did wrong last weekend I caused a serious flare up and have struggled with intense pain in my neck and head since. Pain which made me feel as if my skull would explode, the type of pain that had me laid on the floor as it was too painful to hold my head upright.
Finally today, after 5 days of pain, around 3pm, the pain lifted. When it goes it is as quick as that. I don't know what I do that makes the pain go away, it's just one minute it's there and the next my neck is pain free.
I'm looking forward to a relaxing and pain free weekend of doing nothing, just enjoying the peace in my head.
Showing posts with label Health. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Health. Show all posts
Friday, 29 November 2013
Saturday, 12 January 2013
The Wibbly Wobbly Way
Gripping the handle bars tightly, mobile phone tucked into the secure, zip pocket in my brand new bike basket in case of emergency, I pressed down on the pedal and held my breath.
Encouraged by not falling off immediately I took my other foot off the floor and, with that momentous movement, I realised that I was riding a bike for the first time in over 30 years.
And it was scary!
It was a voyage into the unknown. Not in terms of my route and destination, all that had been carefully planned in advance. No, the unknown of what it is like to be riding a bike again. My first bike was a Christmas gift when I was about 9 years old. A dark green, raleigh bike with no gears. I seem to remember I practiced riding it up and down the driveway, desperate to be given the approval from mum & dad that would allow me through the gates and onto the open road.
Now, some 40 years later, there was no practicing on the driveway, no protection from the dangers of the tarmac and the significantly increased traffic. Oh no, Neil simply threw open the gates and pointed me in the general direction of ... the open road.
The plan was to keep things simple. To do a lap of the estate and, by turning right from the house, I would only have left hand turns to deal with. To set the gears, of which now have 18, at a mid point, so I would not have to think too much about changing as I rode. And to keep it short.
Even so, with all of this pre-planning, it was still quite scary to find myself cycling along the road. I felt wobbly, and realised that my confidence was about as low on the rating scale as it could be, but working on the old adage that faster is better than slower on a bike, I increased my pedalling. I was fine as long as I focused on straight ahead. Turning to look over my shoulder for traffic did not feel safe, lucky I wasn't planning any right turns.
We walk the same route often with the dogs, it's all level... until you're on a bike, when suddenly it rises and falls much more than you would think. Suddenly it became very difficult to pedal, and I was in need of a different gear. I knew the mechanics of changing gear but the idea of actually performing such a task was a little daunting. Ever one to face a challenge head on, I took my eyes off the road to see where I needed to twist on the handlebar, and twisted.
Smoothly and without any hesitation the bike became easier to pedal as I continued up the small incline, and my confidence moved 1 point up the scale. The next challenge was coming up behind me at a rather rapid pace and, as the car flew past me, I realised that the road can be quite a worry as my knuckles turned white from the firm grip I had on the handles. I gave myself a mental note to relax a little. 2 more cars passed in quick succession and I realised my decision to stay away from major roads had been a very wise one.
Ahead I could see my first corner fast approaching and I knew I was going much faster than I should. The brain worked out I needed to brake, but my memory told me I needed to use the rear brake to avoid the possibility of pitching myself over the basket on the front of the bike. At that point I realised I had no idea which hand controlled which brake and I did not have time to trace the cables to see where they went, besides, they vanished under the basket for a short while. This wasn't a 'trace the cable' puzzle from a magazine, this was real life. I took an executive decision, I would squeeze gently with both hands at the same time and hope it had the desired effect, meanwhile making a mental 'note to self' to check which hand operates the rear brake.
There was an eerie squeaky from the new brake pads as they attached themselves to the rim of the shiny, new wheels but I started to slow down and successfully manoeuvered the corner. Back on the straight road again I moved my confidence marker up another peg and started to relax a little more. That's when I found my first downhill part of the road, again not visible to the eye. Suddenly the pedals were running away with me and I knew I needed to brake and possibly change gear all at the same time. Panic mode arriving at an alarming speed, I squeezed and twisted the handles at the same time and hoped the right things would happen. As my feet tried hard to keep up with the pedals I realised I had changed gears in the wrong direction and quickly twisted them the opposite way until calm was restored. Phew, over in a couple of seconds but confidence marker dropped back a point... until I remarked to myself that I had coped and achieved the correct outcome... confidence marker pushed back up a step.
The rest of the short trip was uneventful other than to make me realise how unfit I really am. I had been on the road less than 10 minutes but the stress and effort made it feel as if I'd been out for an hour. As I approached home my brain asked if I wanted to go round again, and the answered echoed back at me without hesitation, NO, not today. I needed a drink to calm me down, (coffee not alcohol - some people pour themselves a glass of wine to relax, I switch the percolator on). By the time I stopped outside the house I was actually shaking and fully aware I had a reasonable challenge ahead of me to get to the desired confidence level to be able to achieve my goal of riding to and from work.
So, snow permitting, I will be out for round 2 today, with a target of 2 circuits of the estate.
Encouraged by not falling off immediately I took my other foot off the floor and, with that momentous movement, I realised that I was riding a bike for the first time in over 30 years.
And it was scary!
It was a voyage into the unknown. Not in terms of my route and destination, all that had been carefully planned in advance. No, the unknown of what it is like to be riding a bike again. My first bike was a Christmas gift when I was about 9 years old. A dark green, raleigh bike with no gears. I seem to remember I practiced riding it up and down the driveway, desperate to be given the approval from mum & dad that would allow me through the gates and onto the open road.
Now, some 40 years later, there was no practicing on the driveway, no protection from the dangers of the tarmac and the significantly increased traffic. Oh no, Neil simply threw open the gates and pointed me in the general direction of ... the open road.
The plan was to keep things simple. To do a lap of the estate and, by turning right from the house, I would only have left hand turns to deal with. To set the gears, of which now have 18, at a mid point, so I would not have to think too much about changing as I rode. And to keep it short.
Even so, with all of this pre-planning, it was still quite scary to find myself cycling along the road. I felt wobbly, and realised that my confidence was about as low on the rating scale as it could be, but working on the old adage that faster is better than slower on a bike, I increased my pedalling. I was fine as long as I focused on straight ahead. Turning to look over my shoulder for traffic did not feel safe, lucky I wasn't planning any right turns.
We walk the same route often with the dogs, it's all level... until you're on a bike, when suddenly it rises and falls much more than you would think. Suddenly it became very difficult to pedal, and I was in need of a different gear. I knew the mechanics of changing gear but the idea of actually performing such a task was a little daunting. Ever one to face a challenge head on, I took my eyes off the road to see where I needed to twist on the handlebar, and twisted.
Smoothly and without any hesitation the bike became easier to pedal as I continued up the small incline, and my confidence moved 1 point up the scale. The next challenge was coming up behind me at a rather rapid pace and, as the car flew past me, I realised that the road can be quite a worry as my knuckles turned white from the firm grip I had on the handles. I gave myself a mental note to relax a little. 2 more cars passed in quick succession and I realised my decision to stay away from major roads had been a very wise one.
Ahead I could see my first corner fast approaching and I knew I was going much faster than I should. The brain worked out I needed to brake, but my memory told me I needed to use the rear brake to avoid the possibility of pitching myself over the basket on the front of the bike. At that point I realised I had no idea which hand controlled which brake and I did not have time to trace the cables to see where they went, besides, they vanished under the basket for a short while. This wasn't a 'trace the cable' puzzle from a magazine, this was real life. I took an executive decision, I would squeeze gently with both hands at the same time and hope it had the desired effect, meanwhile making a mental 'note to self' to check which hand operates the rear brake.
There was an eerie squeaky from the new brake pads as they attached themselves to the rim of the shiny, new wheels but I started to slow down and successfully manoeuvered the corner. Back on the straight road again I moved my confidence marker up another peg and started to relax a little more. That's when I found my first downhill part of the road, again not visible to the eye. Suddenly the pedals were running away with me and I knew I needed to brake and possibly change gear all at the same time. Panic mode arriving at an alarming speed, I squeezed and twisted the handles at the same time and hoped the right things would happen. As my feet tried hard to keep up with the pedals I realised I had changed gears in the wrong direction and quickly twisted them the opposite way until calm was restored. Phew, over in a couple of seconds but confidence marker dropped back a point... until I remarked to myself that I had coped and achieved the correct outcome... confidence marker pushed back up a step.
The rest of the short trip was uneventful other than to make me realise how unfit I really am. I had been on the road less than 10 minutes but the stress and effort made it feel as if I'd been out for an hour. As I approached home my brain asked if I wanted to go round again, and the answered echoed back at me without hesitation, NO, not today. I needed a drink to calm me down, (coffee not alcohol - some people pour themselves a glass of wine to relax, I switch the percolator on). By the time I stopped outside the house I was actually shaking and fully aware I had a reasonable challenge ahead of me to get to the desired confidence level to be able to achieve my goal of riding to and from work.
So, snow permitting, I will be out for round 2 today, with a target of 2 circuits of the estate.
Friday, 14 December 2012
Latest Cholesterol Check
After the last disappointing cholesterol check I wasn't too hopeful that this would be any better. I hadn't lost much weight and only just started exercising again, so apart from my daily glass of beetroot juice and a little more fish in my diet I couldn't think that my good cholesterol would have increased much. I had continued with a very low saturated fat diet but my operation had certainly interrupted my focus. By having the blood test now it meant regardless of the results I could enjoy Christmas and get back on track in the New Year.
So, I duly went for my routine meeting with the oldies of the surgery and this time I made sure I planned it well. I ate at 6pm the night before the test and nothing to eat after, I had a soft drink during our weekly dancing class and that was all. So, I had done as much as I could when I finally gave my tube of blood.
A week later saw me sitting outside the doctor's room hoping that there was some improvement to be proud of. And then I heard my name called, the results were in.
I had got my overall cholesterol down to 5.5 (originally at 6) but more importantly my tryglycerides had plummeted. These were the bad ones which had previously only moved from +3 to +2.8 and needed to be below +2.3 ...
So, I duly went for my routine meeting with the oldies of the surgery and this time I made sure I planned it well. I ate at 6pm the night before the test and nothing to eat after, I had a soft drink during our weekly dancing class and that was all. So, I had done as much as I could when I finally gave my tube of blood.
A week later saw me sitting outside the doctor's room hoping that there was some improvement to be proud of. And then I heard my name called, the results were in.
I had got my overall cholesterol down to 5.5 (originally at 6) but more importantly my tryglycerides had plummeted. These were the bad ones which had previously only moved from +3 to +2.8 and needed to be below +2.3 ...
Fanfare ...
... and the figure now is +1.7
Success.
Even my good cholesterol is normal.
So, I can have an enjoyable Christmas BUT to make sure I don't go back on a diet of pizza & chips, I have booked a follow up blood test in March, just to keep an eye on the levels. My doctor is in agreement to this and I think it will keep me focused on the task.
Oh, I'm a happy lady! No Statins.
Monday, 12 November 2012
Does Beetroot Juice hold secret Health Benefits?
I love fresh boiled beetroot. I loved growing my own this year and freezing it, ready sliced, so I can enjoy it throughout the winter.
When I got the results of my months of eating low saturated fat foods in an effort to reduce my bad cholesterol I was set a new challenge after being told that I had low levels of good cholesterol. I needed to know if there were foods I could eat to improve the levels of good cholesterol. As well as finding out I needed to be eating more oily fish I came across articles suggesting that beetroot juice would also help.
Below is an extract from this website:
http://news24.hubpages.com/hub/beetroot-juice-health-benefits
Health Benefits of Beetroot Juice:
Heart Health:
Beetroot Juice is very good to improve the health of heart as it increases the good cholesterol level and decreases the bad cholesterol level. So, risk of stroke or heart attack is decreased. Also, it contains nitrate which carry out expansion of the blood vessels so more oxygen and blood is supplied to heart. Also, it decreases the risk of several heart diseases. Its nitrate content also helps to reduce blood pressure so it is considered to be the inexpensive and easiest way to combat hypertension.
Now, the problem, of course, is that I have thrown away the water I boiled the beetroot in which, by all accounts, is where the nutrients are once they have been boiled out of the beetroot. I found that local health food shops sold cartons of beetroot juice or I could order it through the internet but then, on my normal weekly shop at the local supermarket I found they also sold bottles of it.
So, each morning we have a small glass. It's ready mixed with apple juice to take the edge off the taste of straight beetroot juice and it's not as bad as you may expect. So far the only side effect I've read about, although not yet noticed, is that they do warn it may turn your pee pink.
So, whether it's the extra fish I'm eating or the beetroot juice, or a combination of the two, hopefully my next cholesterol test will be more positive.
Tuesday, 16 October 2012
Pacemaker Blog
I have taken the posts on my pacemaker story onto a separate blog: http://livingwithapacemaker.blogspot.co.uk/
For anyone wanting to know how I'm getting on,which is very well at the moment, please follow the link and add me to your list of blogs to follow.
For anyone wanting to know how I'm getting on,which is very well at the moment, please follow the link and add me to your list of blogs to follow.
Saturday, 13 October 2012
In the right direction, but more work needed....
I was so sure the results would be good, I'd tried so hard to eat the right things and I'd read on the internet that triglycerides react well to changes in diet.
But they don't react well to blood tests that are not done correctly.
I purposely checked my form to see whether I needed to fast from the night before, if I could only have sips of water for the 10 hours before my test. The box was not ticked, I could have breakfast.
It should have been ticked.
My overall cholesterol is down from 6 to 5.3 a good reduction and almost there, it needs to be below 5, but it's the triglycerides that are the problem, these are the bad cholesterol that were at +3. They have come down to +2.8, not a big move, and there are 2 reasons for this.
Firstly, my good cholesterol is too low and secondly having breakfast and coffee would have affected the results.
So, it's heading in the right direction but I could not help but feel disappointed.
The internet came into action again once I got home. I needed to know how to get my good cholesterol up. Losing weight is good and that is still reducing gradually, without any effort. More exercise helps but I can't do anything about that until I get the all clear from my operation in another 3 weeks. So, we're back to the foods we eat. In cutting out so much fat from my diet, it seems I have cut out too much good fat too. Now I need to re-introduce good fats. More oily fish & avocados are back on the menu.
I have another blood test in 2 months, and this time the box is ticked, I will fast before the test and hopefully next time the results will be better.
Monday, 1 October 2012
Has a low saturated fat diet done the trick?
It is over 3 months since I was told that my triglycerides were too high at +3. According to the internet I should be aiming for below 1.7. From reading up about triglycerides, they do respond well to diet change so I am hopeful I will see some significant reduction in the level if I'm not actually back to where I should be.
I've been for my blood test this morning, once again joining the ranks of the pensioner brigade in the dash for a ticket to try and reduce the waiting time. I've been a couple of times now, so I know the routine and I'm quicker on my legs than most of them so a bit of body swerving normally gets me from the door downstairs to the waiting room upstairs in a few seconds less then the majority.
Now, I have another week to wait for my results - appointment next Tuesday.
Having had my test I can now be a little naughty as it won't influence the outcome, but equally, if I'm not there yet all I'll be doing is giving myself more work to do, oh the decisions we have to make as a grown up!
It's almost 2 weeks since my operation and I have yet to get the Wii fit out to see what my weight has done in that time, I have certainly been less active and probably not been as good with my diet as I should so I expect to be told off by the little Wii monster that waves me goodbye each time.
Well, no time like the present - I'll go and find out right now!
Wish me luck!
...
...
...
And it's not bad, not bad at all. I have only gained 1lb in 2 weeks of sitting about recovering from my operation. I'm well pleased with that.
Tomorrow, back to work full-time, back to normal and back to healthy living!
...
...
...
And it's not bad, not bad at all. I have only gained 1lb in 2 weeks of sitting about recovering from my operation. I'm well pleased with that.
Tomorrow, back to work full-time, back to normal and back to healthy living!
Monday, 24 September 2012
Getting back to normal
I went to work today. Just for a few hours but it was good to be back.
After all, I'm not ill and if I'm sensible I should be fine. My shoulder is tender but not painful, I haven't had any painkillers today. The bruising is coming out so it isn't looking very pretty (don't worry, I won't be posting and photos) and it is still reminding me that I shouldn't use it too much. I am learning my limitations, but it was good to be back in the office. I know there are many jobs where it wouldn't be possible to be back at work so soon but it's nice to get back to a bit of normality.
After all, I'm not ill and if I'm sensible I should be fine. My shoulder is tender but not painful, I haven't had any painkillers today. The bruising is coming out so it isn't looking very pretty (don't worry, I won't be posting and photos) and it is still reminding me that I shouldn't use it too much. I am learning my limitations, but it was good to be back in the office. I know there are many jobs where it wouldn't be possible to be back at work so soon but it's nice to get back to a bit of normality.
Saturday, 22 September 2012
Itchy Stitchy ...
One week on and I'm thankful to be sitting at home, operation over, the fear and anticipation gone, the anxiety of the day behind me and the worry of what would happen gone.
It wasn't good at the time but now, 3 days on, I am surprised how little discomfort I am in, how much I have been able to reduce the painkillers and how much I can actually do.
I am still sleeping on the sofa as I cannot find a comfortable position in bed, but I can wash & dress myself. I wasn't looking forward to getting my hair washed and dried but today we did that with the help of a pillow between me and the sink.
They said the pain was similar to when you have a tooth out and controllable with over the counter painkillers. After the operation on Wednesday I didn't believe that was possible, but it was. I've had nothing stronger than paracetamols and ibuprofen and have spent the majority of the time since I came home pain-free (although I did have to get up during the first night to take some).
So, they didn't lie to me when they said recovery was quick. I have to be sensible with my left arm and not lift it above my shoulder for 6 weeks yet keep it moving to avoid a frozen shoulder. I have to be ultra-cautious with my wound to keep it clean to minimise any risk of infection as, with the pacing wires going direct into my heart, any infection would be really serious. I had a big shot of antibiotic into the wound before they stitched me up and I've a 5-day course of tablets to take.
And as I sit here typing this, the biggest issue is the itchiness of the wound, it's healing and driving me mad.
So much progress in so little time.
I do need to say a massive thank you to all my family and friends who have been so supportive throughout, from the accident, throughout the tests, the diagnosis and finally through the operation and after. It's helped me amazingly to know you were all there for me.
Roll on Wednesday when I can drive again!
It wasn't good at the time but now, 3 days on, I am surprised how little discomfort I am in, how much I have been able to reduce the painkillers and how much I can actually do.
I am still sleeping on the sofa as I cannot find a comfortable position in bed, but I can wash & dress myself. I wasn't looking forward to getting my hair washed and dried but today we did that with the help of a pillow between me and the sink.
They said the pain was similar to when you have a tooth out and controllable with over the counter painkillers. After the operation on Wednesday I didn't believe that was possible, but it was. I've had nothing stronger than paracetamols and ibuprofen and have spent the majority of the time since I came home pain-free (although I did have to get up during the first night to take some).
So, they didn't lie to me when they said recovery was quick. I have to be sensible with my left arm and not lift it above my shoulder for 6 weeks yet keep it moving to avoid a frozen shoulder. I have to be ultra-cautious with my wound to keep it clean to minimise any risk of infection as, with the pacing wires going direct into my heart, any infection would be really serious. I had a big shot of antibiotic into the wound before they stitched me up and I've a 5-day course of tablets to take.
And as I sit here typing this, the biggest issue is the itchiness of the wound, it's healing and driving me mad.
So much progress in so little time.
I do need to say a massive thank you to all my family and friends who have been so supportive throughout, from the accident, throughout the tests, the diagnosis and finally through the operation and after. It's helped me amazingly to know you were all there for me.
Roll on Wednesday when I can drive again!
Friday, 14 September 2012
Double Booked.
The letter confirmed that my TOE is booked for Sept 19th at 8.00am. Then, 5 days later I received another letter from the hospital.
It read: Your appointment is booked for Sept 19th at 8.00am to have your permanent pacemaker fitted.
Ah, I see a problem there.
First thing Monday morning, I rang the hospital. It turns out it's all the fault of the missing form and a Consultant's holiday.
The end result is I don't need the TOE - Yippee!
But I do now have a date for my pacemaker fitted and this time next week I will be sitting at home, the procedure over and the recovery process begun.
Yikes!
It read: Your appointment is booked for Sept 19th at 8.00am to have your permanent pacemaker fitted.
Ah, I see a problem there.
First thing Monday morning, I rang the hospital. It turns out it's all the fault of the missing form and a Consultant's holiday.
The end result is I don't need the TOE - Yippee!
But I do now have a date for my pacemaker fitted and this time next week I will be sitting at home, the procedure over and the recovery process begun.
Yikes!
Friday, 7 September 2012
Transoesophageal echocardiography( TOE Heart Scan)
More grown up stuff:
I have received my form transferring me to the hospital where my pacemaker will be fitted. Ahead of that time I need another scan of my heart, this time from inside my body. This is a very simple explanation of what I have to look forward to next.
Transoesophageal echocardiography:
In this test you swallow a probe that is attached to a thin tube connecting it to the ultrasound machine. This views the heart from within the oesophagus (gullet) which lies just behind the heart. This can give a clearer view of the heart than normal echocardiography. It is done in situations where a very detailed picture is needed.
So, that's a day out for me not to look forward to. I can have sedation (yes, please) although that will mean I am out of action effectively for the whole day (who cares?). So, roll on the 19th. I suppose I have to be positive and be grateful they are being very sure what they are dealing with before they go ahead.
So, I have had my MRSA test to make sure I am clear and not taking anything in to hospital, that was a simple cotton bud swab of my nose and groin area, 2 minutes, no pain - that, I can do.
In the meantime one of my friends has put me in touch with someone who had a defibrillator fitted (similar to a pacemaker, just does a different job) several years ago, and has had a replacement fitted as well. I had a long chat with him last night and asked some very daft questions which he was happy to answer. I'm still feeling relatively calm about things, although I do have the occasional wobble, normally when I'm left on my own for too long. (Yes, I know, don't be left on my own too long!)
Still, at least the sun is shining so the walks to work are enjoyable, talking of which.....
Time to go.
Saturday, 1 September 2012
Echocardiogram Time
A few days after my meeting with the doctor where I was told I would need a pacemaker fitted, I rang the hospital to see things would start to happen. It was difficult enough getting my head around what I had been told, but without any timescale to work to, I was constantly wondering 'what of something happens between now and me getting my pacemaker'. As I had been told it was only happening at night, it meant sleep was very restless, even Neil was telling me he was checking on me 2 or 3 times a night to see that I was ok.
The Cadio-respiratory dept had no record of my form telling them I needed a scan. I rang the following day, which by now meant 5 days had passed, long enough for a piece of paper to reach one side of the hospital in out-patients to the other, even if it was relying on being blown by drafts from opening and closing doors. Claire could tell I was worried and so she took control. 'I'll ring the doctor's secretary to check your notes and then call you back when we know what's happening,' she told me over the phone. I checked she had the right contact number for me and left her to do what she said.
Within half an hour my phone rang. Claire confirmed that the form had gone missing in transit, but that the secretary confirmed I needed the scan and , as it happened, they had a free appointment that afternoon, if it wasn't too short notice.
No, I would be there.
On arrival I was introduced to Tracy, her and Claire will be my aftercare team. Once the procedure is done they will do the follow up appointments to check everything is working ok, and that I am ok. I felt relaxed with them both so this was good news.
Tracy took me through to the treatment room and asked me to undress. The scan is done similar to an ultrasound scan on babies. She applied a cold gel and then ran the machine over my skin. I could see my heart on the monitor and occasionally, I heard the whooshing sound it makes as the blood pumps through. After a few seconds I decided not to look at the monitor as the picture shows lots of marks, little pin-holes and other odd shapes and I thought I would be better not looking as I didn't know whether this was all as it it should be or not. I preferred not to give myself anything else to worry about.
All the time Tracy was taking the scan she was talking to me about what will happen, how I was feeling and about the procedure itself. After it was all done I started to get dressed again while Tracy went to get some booklets on pacemakers, the tests I had done and what they all meant and also the condition that I have. I hadn't been given any information like this before and really only knew what I had been told or seen on the internet.
I felt so much more settled about the whole situation by the time I left the hospital and felt there should be a Claire or a Tracy on standby when I had come out of my 1st appointment where they told me I needed a pacemaker, I would have slept a lot better over the past few days if I'd had chance to talk things through at the time.
So now, it's more waiting. The scan results will be seen by the Cardiologist and then they will refer me for the procedure. Tracy said it would probably be about 5-6 weeks but that I should ring the secretary next week and she should be able to give me some better idea.
So, time for me to go and read some booklets.
So, time for me to go and read some booklets.
Sunday, 26 August 2012
Worst Case Scenario
When I woke on Thursday morning I knew I'd had a restless night. There was several hours still to go before my appointment at 2.30pm and I was hoping that being at work would serve as a useful distraction. Normally the mornings go relatively quickly and lunchtimes are upon us before we realise.......but not today. The clock ticked painstakingly slow.
Finally Neil arrived to pick me up and we set off to the hospital. Over the previous few days I'd had many people give me their thoughts on what I would be told. I had deliberately not been scouring the internet for information as I didn't know exactly what I was dealing with, but my hope was that at worst, it would be tablets for the rest of my life.
After the usual weighing and measuring in, which I think is just to waste some time we sat in the waiting room until it was my turn.
Finally we were called through. The results of my 48 hour monitor had confirmed the original diagnosis, I had 2nd degree av block which, the doctor explained meant my heart sometimes didn't beat when it should. The monitor showed this was only happening at night when I was asleep at the moment. I asked whether I had type 1 or type 2 and he confirmed I had type 2, the worst of the types. The condition would get progressively worst if it went untreated until eventually it would lead to a complete heart block. He confirmed the effect of the missing heartbeat can be dizziness or fainting and this could have been the cause of my recent accident. Having asked several more questions about how I was feeling he went off to speak with the Cardiologist on duty.
We had to wait several minutes before he returned with the plan of action, and that's when I received a massive shock.
They were going to give me a pacemaker!
I didn't feel ill enough to warrant such an outcome, there must be something else they could do first, but no, this was the only course of action that would correct my problem. I was at 'worst case scenario' stage.
After that, my mind shut off, I have little knowledge of what else was said between the doctor and Neil, I was stunned.
Now, I have to wait for the next stage, an echo-cardiogram so that they can check the structure of my heart before they carry out the procedure. I have to ring the hospital on Tuesday to get some timescales involved.
In the meantime I am not allowed to have spicy food or alcohol, I have to avoid getting over-excited and I am not allowed to drive. I am told I can resume all of them after the pacemaker is fitted.
I've had a couple of days to come to terms with what is going to happen to me. I am trying to focus on the positives, that I am lucky they have identified the problem before it has got any worse, that after the procedure I can continue to live life as before and that I will always be closely monitored so the chances of something going unheeded is low. The rational side of me can see that I have been very fortunate to have been referred for the series of tests that has highlighted the problem now.
The emotional side of me is struggling. It doesn't surface often but I am scared. Scared of what is going to happen over the next few weeks. I am lucky, I have a lot of support from family and friends, and Neil who knows that I am now worried about sleeping because the problem happens at night, tells me he checks on me several times throughout the night while I sleep, to make sure I am OK. It is reassuring.
There is still a part of me that can't quite believe this is all happening.
Wow!
Saturday, 25 August 2012
A long 2 weeks.
The doctor had said I should hear from the hospital within 2 weeks and if I didn't I should ring her and she would chase them up for me.
That night I started up my laptop, determined only to look at reputable websites. I needed to know more about my condition.
Basically there are 3 degrees, 1st, 2nd & 3rd. Of the 2nd degree there are 2 types, one more serious than the other. Once again I was left no choice but to play the waiting game. Until I knew whether I had type 1 or type 2, I still didn't know what I was dealing with.
I made the decision to let family and friends know what had been found and what the possible outcome could be. It was easier for me to share it with them. Again, I kept telling myself if it was serious they would call me sooner rather than later. A week passed without a call.
After 10 days I couldn't wait any longer, I needed to know when I would be seeing the Cardiologist, the stress of waiting was beginning to get too much.
I rang the hospital.
I explained the situation and the lady on the other end asked me to wait. When she came back she said she had pulled my letter out of the pile, that they were having an extra clinic the following day and if I could make it, I could see the Cardiologist at 2.30pm.
I told her I would be there.
Impatient for news.
For 24 hours I turned all kinds of thoughts over in my head until I was driving myself crazy. The one rational thought that I kept pushing to the forefront was that the hospital would have called me back sooner if there was anything seriously wrong, but I couldn't settle so I decided I would ring my doctor to see if she had heard anything. It was lunchtime when I called and she was out. They said they would get her to ring me when she was back. By 5pm I had settled myself to not hearing from her and made a mental note to call her the following day.
Then, not more than 2 minutes later my phone rang. I told her of my recall to the hospital and asked if she had heard anything. She had. She told me in a very matter of fact tone that I was being checked as they had found indications in my first test of 2nd degree av block, which she told me meant the electrics in my heart didn't work properly and so there was elongation between beats and this could result in my heart missing a beat on occasions.
I wrote it all down as she said it, but I didn't take it in.
The CT scan doctor who had requested I have a heart check as well had done good. I had been referred to the Cardiologist and he had requested the 2nd, longer test. I asked what this could mean and she told me, worse case scenario is a pacemaker, but she didn't think we were anywhere near that.
I thanked her and cancelled the call.
Stunned.
I felt well, since losing weight through my new eating regime, I had felt fitter than for some time. They couldn't be right. I didn't have dizzy spells, no fainting, there was no history of heart problems in the family. My work colleagues could tell something was wrong and came over.
I simply said, 'they've found something wrong with my heart! It can't be too serious or they would have me straight in but there is a problem'.
Then, not more than 2 minutes later my phone rang. I told her of my recall to the hospital and asked if she had heard anything. She had. She told me in a very matter of fact tone that I was being checked as they had found indications in my first test of 2nd degree av block, which she told me meant the electrics in my heart didn't work properly and so there was elongation between beats and this could result in my heart missing a beat on occasions.
I wrote it all down as she said it, but I didn't take it in.
The CT scan doctor who had requested I have a heart check as well had done good. I had been referred to the Cardiologist and he had requested the 2nd, longer test. I asked what this could mean and she told me, worse case scenario is a pacemaker, but she didn't think we were anywhere near that.
I thanked her and cancelled the call.
Stunned.
I felt well, since losing weight through my new eating regime, I had felt fitter than for some time. They couldn't be right. I didn't have dizzy spells, no fainting, there was no history of heart problems in the family. My work colleagues could tell something was wrong and came over.
I simply said, 'they've found something wrong with my heart! It can't be too serious or they would have me straight in but there is a problem'.
24 hours heart monitoring
The CT scan I had a few weeks ago has fortunately come back clear. It doesn't explain the accident but it's good to know I have a healthy head.
At the same time I was also referred for 24 heart monitoring. So, a few weeks ago I visited yet another department at our local hospital. I was wired up to a machine for several minutes while they ran some basic tests and asked some basic questions, do I get dizzy spells or feel faint, do I have palpitations etc. etc, to each I answered 'no'. Then they stuck 3 pads to my chest and sent me home for 24 hours attached to a portable monitor. The unit hung from a strap around my neck and I had a small booklet in which I was to make a note if I had any feelings in my heart that were note worthy. I couldn't think what I would be noting as I had never had any issues with my heart but the doctors wanted everything checking out so I was happy to oblige.
I was to do everything I normally do while wearing the unit, except have a shower. It was cumbersome with 3 thickish, long wires stuffed up my jumper and the unit felt quite heavy around my neck, but it was only for 24 hours. It was Friday lunchtime so, after picking a sandwich up from the hospital restaurant I returned to work.
Now, a little on the hospital restaurant. It's at the head of the corridor to the cardiology department and has leaflets and posters outside about cholesterol reducing. So, you would think there would be a variety of low fat foods available - oh no. I eventually managed to find a sandwich that would do, but I was totally disappointed in the choice - how ironic.
Anyway, back at work the monitor didn't bother me too much and after a while I managed to forget it was hanging around my neck. We had deliberately not made plans to go out that night and so the next hurdle would be trying to sleep attached to the cables - and it wasn't easy for me. After a restless night I spent Saturday morning clock watching, hardly able to wait for the 24 hours to come to an end. Eventually the time came for me to peel off the pads holding the wires in place and I could bag the unit up for returning to the hospital for analysis on the Monday morning.
On my way to work I drove by the hospital and took the unit back to the cardiology dept along with a blank record card. I didn't have any 'off feelings' from my heart, never had and hadn't expected to have any just by being hooked up to a monitor. The receptionist confirmed my blank card was intentional and after I said yes, I left to start the wait for yet another letter not to arrive.
After 4 weeks of no call back to the hospital, I finally began to relax and feel that I would never be able to explain the accident but at least I'd been fully checked out, which was no bad thing.
Then it happened, week 5 - I got a letter telling me they wanted me back to have another monitor fitted - this time for 48 hours. Suddenly I got concerned again. Friends tried to re-assure me they were just double checking before discharging me - but I wasn't convinced. I went back to the hospital the following day and was once more fitted with sticky pads, wires and the unit around my neck. I explained that due to the osteoarthritis in my neck I found having the unit hanging there uncomfortable, so he said I could carry it in the pocket of my jeans as long as the cables were not pulled taut. And so 48 hours began.
It was 48 hours that would change my life significantly.
At the same time I was also referred for 24 heart monitoring. So, a few weeks ago I visited yet another department at our local hospital. I was wired up to a machine for several minutes while they ran some basic tests and asked some basic questions, do I get dizzy spells or feel faint, do I have palpitations etc. etc, to each I answered 'no'. Then they stuck 3 pads to my chest and sent me home for 24 hours attached to a portable monitor. The unit hung from a strap around my neck and I had a small booklet in which I was to make a note if I had any feelings in my heart that were note worthy. I couldn't think what I would be noting as I had never had any issues with my heart but the doctors wanted everything checking out so I was happy to oblige.
I was to do everything I normally do while wearing the unit, except have a shower. It was cumbersome with 3 thickish, long wires stuffed up my jumper and the unit felt quite heavy around my neck, but it was only for 24 hours. It was Friday lunchtime so, after picking a sandwich up from the hospital restaurant I returned to work.
Now, a little on the hospital restaurant. It's at the head of the corridor to the cardiology department and has leaflets and posters outside about cholesterol reducing. So, you would think there would be a variety of low fat foods available - oh no. I eventually managed to find a sandwich that would do, but I was totally disappointed in the choice - how ironic.
Anyway, back at work the monitor didn't bother me too much and after a while I managed to forget it was hanging around my neck. We had deliberately not made plans to go out that night and so the next hurdle would be trying to sleep attached to the cables - and it wasn't easy for me. After a restless night I spent Saturday morning clock watching, hardly able to wait for the 24 hours to come to an end. Eventually the time came for me to peel off the pads holding the wires in place and I could bag the unit up for returning to the hospital for analysis on the Monday morning.
On my way to work I drove by the hospital and took the unit back to the cardiology dept along with a blank record card. I didn't have any 'off feelings' from my heart, never had and hadn't expected to have any just by being hooked up to a monitor. The receptionist confirmed my blank card was intentional and after I said yes, I left to start the wait for yet another letter not to arrive.
After 4 weeks of no call back to the hospital, I finally began to relax and feel that I would never be able to explain the accident but at least I'd been fully checked out, which was no bad thing.
Then it happened, week 5 - I got a letter telling me they wanted me back to have another monitor fitted - this time for 48 hours. Suddenly I got concerned again. Friends tried to re-assure me they were just double checking before discharging me - but I wasn't convinced. I went back to the hospital the following day and was once more fitted with sticky pads, wires and the unit around my neck. I explained that due to the osteoarthritis in my neck I found having the unit hanging there uncomfortable, so he said I could carry it in the pocket of my jeans as long as the cables were not pulled taut. And so 48 hours began.
It was 48 hours that would change my life significantly.
Wednesday, 18 July 2012
Me, A Wii and a fat free diet!
Since I was told my cholesterol was too high I have been dedicated to reducing it so they don't have to prescribe statins for me. My daily regime involves reading nutrition labels closely and putting back anything that contains too much saturated fat. I've swapped all white bread, pasta & rice for wholemeal. I eat fruit like it's going out of fashion. Red meat is off the menu (and oh, how I yearn for a nice, rare, juicy steak). I eat oily fish and vegetables stir fried in sunflower oil.
Every morning the Wii-fit board comes out from under the sideboard and I burn a few calories cycling, running or any other Wii fit game that passes for a work out.
Eating out has become a nightmare. Last week I met a friend for a catch up and a bite to eat. The only thing I could find on the menu (other than salad, which I really do not do as a main meal - lettuce is SUCH a waste of time!) was roast chicken & chips. That's OK, I'll swap the chips for a jacket spud. Sorry, was the reply, we've none left. OK, says I, I'll have a small side salad (tolerable as a side dish). Said meal with side salad arrived, complete with salad dressing already applied that had not been requested.
So, we've been eating in more. Being more inventive with cooking. Bolognese is now made with Quorn and is quite acceptable, served, of course, with wholemeal spaghetti and a sprinkling of grated Edam, which I am allowed in moderation!
I was still buying stuff for hubby to enjoy, chocolate bars, biscuits, crisps etc. and I was even ok with him eating such treats while sitting in the same room as me, although I did think he was pushing my will-power when he actually passed me a chocolate bar to hold while he sorted one of the dogs out.
I didn't give it so much as a lick!
In an effort to give me something to have as a treat we searched the internet for fat-free recipes and I now have home made low fat banana cake and low fat chocolate brownies that really fit the bill when the craving occasionally hits - recipe below
Ingredients
Low fat cooking spray
75g (2 3/4oz) self raising flour
50g (1 3/4oz) unsweetened cocoa powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 large egg
2 egg whites
175g (6oz) caster sugar
6 tbsp unsweetened apple sauce
2 tbsp sunflour oil
2 tsp vanilla essence
15g (1/2oz) chopped walnuts
Method
Preheat the oven to Gas Mark 4/180oc/fan oven 160oc. Spray a 20cm (8 inch) square non stick baking pan with the low fat cooking spray.
In a medium bowl, combine the flour, cocoa powder and salt, stirring together to mix.
In a large mixing bowl, whisk together the egg, egg whites, sugar, apple sauce, oil and vanilla essence.
Add the flour mixture to the egg mixture, stirring until just blended. Take care not to over mix, or the brownies will not rise.
Transfer the cake mixture to the baking pan and sprinkle with the walnuts.
Bake in the centre of the oven until just set- about 25 mins. A toothpick or skewer inserted in the centre of the cake should come out clean.
Cool in the tin for 15 mins, then cut into 12 rectangles.
Ok, there's an egg in there - but I have it as one of my 3 permitted egg yolks per week. I cut it into 16 instead of 12 and even my non-dieting friends enjoy a piece with a cuppa.
And this morning my Wii gave me flowers and fireworks, I have reached my 4 week goal a week early.
So far, so good!
Every morning the Wii-fit board comes out from under the sideboard and I burn a few calories cycling, running or any other Wii fit game that passes for a work out.
Eating out has become a nightmare. Last week I met a friend for a catch up and a bite to eat. The only thing I could find on the menu (other than salad, which I really do not do as a main meal - lettuce is SUCH a waste of time!) was roast chicken & chips. That's OK, I'll swap the chips for a jacket spud. Sorry, was the reply, we've none left. OK, says I, I'll have a small side salad (tolerable as a side dish). Said meal with side salad arrived, complete with salad dressing already applied that had not been requested.
So, we've been eating in more. Being more inventive with cooking. Bolognese is now made with Quorn and is quite acceptable, served, of course, with wholemeal spaghetti and a sprinkling of grated Edam, which I am allowed in moderation!
I was still buying stuff for hubby to enjoy, chocolate bars, biscuits, crisps etc. and I was even ok with him eating such treats while sitting in the same room as me, although I did think he was pushing my will-power when he actually passed me a chocolate bar to hold while he sorted one of the dogs out.
I didn't give it so much as a lick!
In an effort to give me something to have as a treat we searched the internet for fat-free recipes and I now have home made low fat banana cake and low fat chocolate brownies that really fit the bill when the craving occasionally hits - recipe below
Ingredients
Low fat cooking spray
75g (2 3/4oz) self raising flour
50g (1 3/4oz) unsweetened cocoa powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 large egg
2 egg whites
175g (6oz) caster sugar
6 tbsp unsweetened apple sauce
2 tbsp sunflour oil
2 tsp vanilla essence
15g (1/2oz) chopped walnuts
Method
Preheat the oven to Gas Mark 4/180oc/fan oven 160oc. Spray a 20cm (8 inch) square non stick baking pan with the low fat cooking spray.
In a medium bowl, combine the flour, cocoa powder and salt, stirring together to mix.
In a large mixing bowl, whisk together the egg, egg whites, sugar, apple sauce, oil and vanilla essence.
Add the flour mixture to the egg mixture, stirring until just blended. Take care not to over mix, or the brownies will not rise.
Transfer the cake mixture to the baking pan and sprinkle with the walnuts.
Bake in the centre of the oven until just set- about 25 mins. A toothpick or skewer inserted in the centre of the cake should come out clean.
Cool in the tin for 15 mins, then cut into 12 rectangles.
Ok, there's an egg in there - but I have it as one of my 3 permitted egg yolks per week. I cut it into 16 instead of 12 and even my non-dieting friends enjoy a piece with a cuppa.
And this morning my Wii gave me flowers and fireworks, I have reached my 4 week goal a week early.
So far, so good!
Wednesday, 11 July 2012
Scan Time
After my recent accident the doctor decided it was prudent for me to have several tests, one of which was a CT scan to check I have a brain. I suppose that's understandable in view of what happened. After all, it's not normal to drive into a brick wall.
Many years ago I had an MRI scan on my neck and had a serious attack of claustrophobia, panic set in and I was firmly of the view that I would not be able to go near the machine again without enough sedatives to knock out an elephant.
So, the thought of a CT scan had me seriously worried, not so much from the results as much as the actual process.
And so the day arrived and I had Neil drive me to the hospital as I wasn't sure I would be calm enough to drive home after the scan.
The MRI scan had lasted 20 minutes, I had to have a heavy plate on my chest and my arms fastened to my body to stop me moving, it was torture.
I had been told the CT scan would no take as long, would be over in about 10 mins and would not be as bad. I wasn't convinced.
On arrival there were 2 elderly patients with carers waiting ahead of me. The elderly gentleman was in a wheelchair. He had a habit of shouting out every couple of minutes which made me jump and he didn't seem to understand why he was there. They called him in and told me it would be my turn soon.
The other patient was an elderly lady, who sat with her carer looking through magazines. After only a couple of minutes the elderly gentleman came out and she was called in. It was all happening very quickly.
2 minutes more and I was called through and the mystery as to the speed was solved when the nurse asked me if I too was going to be a difficult patient, as the elderly gentleman had refused to lay down still and they had been unable to catch the elderly lady as she ran around the room.
Infront of me was the machine and as I looked at it the nurse asked me if I'd seen one before. I answered no, but that I was familiar with an MRI scanner and had not had a positive experience. She told me it was a lot quicker, a lot quieter and was a donut not a tunnel and that they referred people for a CT scan that weren't able to tolerate the MRI scanner. I filed that bit of information away for future use, I can tell you.
And so, I lay down on the bed and awaited the 10 minutes of scanning. 2 minutes later it was all over. What a doddle. No stress at all.
And so, I am now waiting for a non-phone call. My consultant said if they find something, anything, they'll ring me. So no phone call is a good thing. I'm just not sure how long I have to wait not to get a phone call before I can be sure they haven't found anything rather than they are still looking.
So, the thought of a CT scan had me seriously worried, not so much from the results as much as the actual process.
And so the day arrived and I had Neil drive me to the hospital as I wasn't sure I would be calm enough to drive home after the scan.
The MRI scan had lasted 20 minutes, I had to have a heavy plate on my chest and my arms fastened to my body to stop me moving, it was torture.
I had been told the CT scan would no take as long, would be over in about 10 mins and would not be as bad. I wasn't convinced.
On arrival there were 2 elderly patients with carers waiting ahead of me. The elderly gentleman was in a wheelchair. He had a habit of shouting out every couple of minutes which made me jump and he didn't seem to understand why he was there. They called him in and told me it would be my turn soon.
The other patient was an elderly lady, who sat with her carer looking through magazines. After only a couple of minutes the elderly gentleman came out and she was called in. It was all happening very quickly.
2 minutes more and I was called through and the mystery as to the speed was solved when the nurse asked me if I too was going to be a difficult patient, as the elderly gentleman had refused to lay down still and they had been unable to catch the elderly lady as she ran around the room.
Infront of me was the machine and as I looked at it the nurse asked me if I'd seen one before. I answered no, but that I was familiar with an MRI scanner and had not had a positive experience. She told me it was a lot quicker, a lot quieter and was a donut not a tunnel and that they referred people for a CT scan that weren't able to tolerate the MRI scanner. I filed that bit of information away for future use, I can tell you.
And so, I lay down on the bed and awaited the 10 minutes of scanning. 2 minutes later it was all over. What a doddle. No stress at all.
And so, I am now waiting for a non-phone call. My consultant said if they find something, anything, they'll ring me. So no phone call is a good thing. I'm just not sure how long I have to wait not to get a phone call before I can be sure they haven't found anything rather than they are still looking.
Sunday, 1 July 2012
Life in Moderation
The last few weeks have been a lesson in ageing that I could have done without.
I had a birthday. It was not a special birthday but it did signal a change from being in my early 50's to reaching my mid-50's. I had a good few days, the Queen had given the whole country a day off to celebrate my birthday (although I understand she had a bit of celebrating to do herself too!)
I took an extra day off so I only had 2 days to work before the weekend, but it seems even that was more than I wanted to do. In the end my working week ended after a day and a half when I left the premises in the back of an ambulance.
Now, there is no need for concern. I am perfectly ok, fortunately. The same cannot be said of my car and a section of the office block where I work. On returning to work I somehow failed to stop in my selected car parking place and continued to drive across the pathway and into the wall of my place of work. I have no recollection of anything after turning my wheels to park and being aware that I was embedded in the wall with a plate glass window now in shatters, some of which was artistically arranged on my bonnet.
3 weeks on I still have no memory of those lost few seconds, but I do still have a job. My work colleagues were understandably concerned enough to call an ambulance and since then I have been having a series of test to see if anything may have caused me to be unaware of driving into a wall. As yet, every test has come back clear. I am very happy that is the case but it does nothing to answer the ever present question - how could it happen.
It had been raining heavy, my other half thinks wet brakes may be to blame. I don't know, I can't remember. My car is being repaired and will be back this week. It now has a name - Christine, it feels as if it has a malevolent streak.
One issue that has been identified from this is that my cholesterol is higher than it should be. So, I am now beginning to become an expert on saturated fat content of a variety of foods - and some of what I have been eating is unbelievably high in these bad fats.
My daily intake should not exceed 20gms. I love cheese, I love red meat and I love white bread. My daily intake was probably multiples of 20gms. So now, I have a whole list of food can't haves and, if I'm honest, most of my daily diet fell on that list. The items that don't, fall in the 'moderation' column.
After 10 days of eating a low fat diet I am craving those items I can't have - I miss cheese. I could happily cut a chunk off a block and eat. I've watched a film this afternoon of Treasure island, where someone who had been living in a desert island for 3 years craved a bit of heaven - he wanted cheese. I know how he feels.
And so I have finally reached a stage in my life where it has to be lived in moderation. The old joke of 'it won't make me live any longer, it'll just feel like it' applies. My hubby is learning a whole new set of cooking skills and mealtimes are much more inventive than before. My refrigerator is full of strange foods never seen in there before and snacking consists purely of satsumas or sultanas.
3 months. By then I should have my triglycerides back to normal levels and my eating habits retrained to believe this is normal.
And hopefully, in 3 months the wall will be rebuilt too, then I can put it all behind me and just accept it was 'one of those things'.
I will probably never know what happened on that Friday afternoon, and will always blame 'Christine'. All I can hope is it doesn't happen again.
I had a birthday. It was not a special birthday but it did signal a change from being in my early 50's to reaching my mid-50's. I had a good few days, the Queen had given the whole country a day off to celebrate my birthday (although I understand she had a bit of celebrating to do herself too!)
I took an extra day off so I only had 2 days to work before the weekend, but it seems even that was more than I wanted to do. In the end my working week ended after a day and a half when I left the premises in the back of an ambulance.
Now, there is no need for concern. I am perfectly ok, fortunately. The same cannot be said of my car and a section of the office block where I work. On returning to work I somehow failed to stop in my selected car parking place and continued to drive across the pathway and into the wall of my place of work. I have no recollection of anything after turning my wheels to park and being aware that I was embedded in the wall with a plate glass window now in shatters, some of which was artistically arranged on my bonnet.
3 weeks on I still have no memory of those lost few seconds, but I do still have a job. My work colleagues were understandably concerned enough to call an ambulance and since then I have been having a series of test to see if anything may have caused me to be unaware of driving into a wall. As yet, every test has come back clear. I am very happy that is the case but it does nothing to answer the ever present question - how could it happen.
It had been raining heavy, my other half thinks wet brakes may be to blame. I don't know, I can't remember. My car is being repaired and will be back this week. It now has a name - Christine, it feels as if it has a malevolent streak.
One issue that has been identified from this is that my cholesterol is higher than it should be. So, I am now beginning to become an expert on saturated fat content of a variety of foods - and some of what I have been eating is unbelievably high in these bad fats.
My daily intake should not exceed 20gms. I love cheese, I love red meat and I love white bread. My daily intake was probably multiples of 20gms. So now, I have a whole list of food can't haves and, if I'm honest, most of my daily diet fell on that list. The items that don't, fall in the 'moderation' column.
After 10 days of eating a low fat diet I am craving those items I can't have - I miss cheese. I could happily cut a chunk off a block and eat. I've watched a film this afternoon of Treasure island, where someone who had been living in a desert island for 3 years craved a bit of heaven - he wanted cheese. I know how he feels.
And so I have finally reached a stage in my life where it has to be lived in moderation. The old joke of 'it won't make me live any longer, it'll just feel like it' applies. My hubby is learning a whole new set of cooking skills and mealtimes are much more inventive than before. My refrigerator is full of strange foods never seen in there before and snacking consists purely of satsumas or sultanas.
3 months. By then I should have my triglycerides back to normal levels and my eating habits retrained to believe this is normal.
And hopefully, in 3 months the wall will be rebuilt too, then I can put it all behind me and just accept it was 'one of those things'.
I will probably never know what happened on that Friday afternoon, and will always blame 'Christine'. All I can hope is it doesn't happen again.
Tuesday, 15 November 2011
Oh dear, it's a bigger problem than it first looked!
That was the phrase used by my dentist yesterday that left a hollow feeling in the pit of my stomach.
Dentist are not my favourite people, not that I am alone in that feeling. It stems from some fairly bad experience as a child visiting the school dental clinic.
As an adult I shied away from going for a number of years and would only go when the pain from toothache was greater than the fear of going to get it treated. I had friends go with me as I would be in such a state after treatment and my dental notes had a big warning note across the top about how scared I was of getting into the dentist's chair.
Several years ago I changed to a dentist recommended by a good friend and he did a lot to ease my fear, but it was still an ordeal for me. Then I had a session of hypnotherapy for something completely different but 2 days after the session I was due at the dentist, and was amazed how much calmer I was about it all. Now, I was always sceptical about hypnosis but having exhausted all kinds of other treatments I decided to give it a go.
I made sure I chose carefully and in a safe environment and decided to book a session at a local Health Spa as one of my treatments. I'll cover the experience of hypnosis in a seperate post, and simply say here that since then I have been able to go to the dentist without too much difficulty.
So, hearing my dentist come out with the phrase above was not good.
She had checked where I had I broken my tooth and told me there was a small filiing next to it so she would take that out and re-do as one. Only trouble was, the rest of the tooth was attached to that filling and when she took it out another chunk of tooth came with it - apparently, my tooth had been cracked right across.
So, half an hour and a very thick lip later, I was on my way back to the car.
Maybe I'll stay clear of the ice-creams for a while.
Dentist are not my favourite people, not that I am alone in that feeling. It stems from some fairly bad experience as a child visiting the school dental clinic.
As an adult I shied away from going for a number of years and would only go when the pain from toothache was greater than the fear of going to get it treated. I had friends go with me as I would be in such a state after treatment and my dental notes had a big warning note across the top about how scared I was of getting into the dentist's chair.
Several years ago I changed to a dentist recommended by a good friend and he did a lot to ease my fear, but it was still an ordeal for me. Then I had a session of hypnotherapy for something completely different but 2 days after the session I was due at the dentist, and was amazed how much calmer I was about it all. Now, I was always sceptical about hypnosis but having exhausted all kinds of other treatments I decided to give it a go.
I made sure I chose carefully and in a safe environment and decided to book a session at a local Health Spa as one of my treatments. I'll cover the experience of hypnosis in a seperate post, and simply say here that since then I have been able to go to the dentist without too much difficulty.
So, hearing my dentist come out with the phrase above was not good.
She had checked where I had I broken my tooth and told me there was a small filiing next to it so she would take that out and re-do as one. Only trouble was, the rest of the tooth was attached to that filling and when she took it out another chunk of tooth came with it - apparently, my tooth had been cracked right across.
So, half an hour and a very thick lip later, I was on my way back to the car.
Maybe I'll stay clear of the ice-creams for a while.
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