Dear Diary

My laptop tells me it's 2.43am so I have to assume tonight is a night I won't get much sleep. It's not that I haven't tried. I've spent 2 days sorting out paperwork and getting things decluttered and tidy. I don't know where all the papers come from but since we moved house the pile seems to have grown out of all control. Maybe it's because we are spending more time in the garden and less in the house that things are getting left.

So, I bought some files and storage boxes and got on with sorting them all out. The re-cycling bin is full of shreddings from all the junk that comes through the door so, I should have a clear mind on 2 counts. Firstly, all my papers are sorted and dealt with and secondly, all the junk stuff is now re-cycled.

I thought an uncluttered mind meant sleep would be a given.

Apparently not.

Normally, when I can't sleep I get up and make a hot chocolate drink, Milky drinks are supposed to make you sleepy. I finished mine some 30 mins ago, but I still feel wide awake.

I have slept for maybe half an hour when I first went to bed, but something woke me and I then couldn't get back to sleep.

And the later it gets the more my once clear, settled, restful mind becomes completely focused on the fact that I have to be up for work in less than 4 hours.

And it's not the thought of going to work that's a worry. I enjoy work, it's not stressful. I enjoy working with my colleagues, we have a laugh, we work well as a team. I don't have a difficult time with traffic.

And so, I sit here trying to fathom out what is keeping me from sleep.

When suddenly, a noise catches my attention. Not from outside the house, but from within. And it's not the dogs as they are in another room and the noise came from within the same room as I am sitting.

It's a distinctive noise, it needs no investigation but instantly, I know what woke me and what is keeping me awake.

I'm hungry. The noise was my stomach telling me it wants food. Now that I know what it is, I will never be able to sleep until I satisfy my need for food.

And then begins a further dilemma. There is only one thing that will meet the need to enable me to sleep. But is is seriously off the list of foods. It's my weakness challenging me in the darkest hours of night. The only thing I ever eat when I get these night time munchies is toast. But toast is simply bread in disguise and bread is my downfall. I cannot have just one slice. Once the aroma of hot buttered toast fills the kitchen I know there will be a second slice and a third. Somehow, 3am muesli just doesn't work.

So now, I have admitted I am hungry, I have admitted I want toast. I accept sleep will not be easy tonight, but I need to try and catch a few more hours before daylight enters the house.

Maybe if I promise myself a slice at breakfast it will calm my brain cells enough.

It's worth a  try.